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The chart below shows the percentage of the whole population in four countries from 1950 2002 with projections to 2050 v.2

The chart below shows the percentage of the whole population in four countries from 1950 2002 with projections to 2050 v. 2
The bar chart indicates the ratio of the world population in India, China, USA and Japan from 1950 to 2002, and it also shows the prediction of 2050. As we can see from the graph, the proportion of population of China ranked the first in 1950 and 2002. Though it dropped down slightly from 26% to 24%, it is predicted that the population of China will continue to decrease to 19% in 2050. Besides, India as second to China in the percentage of population, increased from 15%（1950）to 19%（2002）, even come in the first place in the middle of 21 century with scale of 21%. In addition, the number of people in USA occupied 10% in 1950, fell to 7% in 2002, the predicted value of which will be the same in 2050. Moreover, the percentage of Japan keep declining from 5% to 3% in 2050. To sum up, India will replace China become the world’s first populous country by 2050 and USA and Japan will face enormous difficulties in the problems of population aging and a low birth rate.
The bar chart indicates the ratio of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in India, China, USA and Japan from 1950 to 2002, and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the prediction of 2050.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the graph, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of China ranked the
first
in 1950 and 2002. Though it
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
slightly
from 26% to 24%, it
is predicted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of China will continue to decrease to 19% in 2050.
Besides
, India as second to China in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, increased from 15%（1950）to 19%（2002）, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
first
place in the middle of
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
with scale of 21%.
In addition
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
occupied 10% in 1950, fell to 7% in 2002, the predicted value of which will be the same in 2050.
Moreover
, the percentage of Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
declining from 5% to 3% in 2050.

To sum up, India will replace China become the world’s
first
populous country by 2050 and USA and Japan will face enormous difficulties in the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
aging and a low birth rate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of the whole population in four countries from 1950 2002 with projections to 2050 v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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