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The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country v.2

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country v. 2
The graph illustrates the percentage of four different materials (paper and cardboard, glass containers, aluminium cans and plastics) which underwent the recycling process between 1982 and 2010. Overall, paper and cardboard were most recycled materials although the trend was downward for these materials while others experienced an upward trend. Even though there were some fluctuations. It can be seen that, paper and cardboard recycling rate was higher than that other materials well under 70% in 1982. Followed by 5% rate was went up in 1986 but in 1990 suddenly dropped around 65%. In later year (in 1994) fluctuated and rose over 80%. From 1994 to 2010 this rate gradually declined and hitt to 70%. compared to other materials this rate was higher. In 1982, containers which was made by glass raised by 5%. Moreover, this percentage was significantly decreased (40%) in 1990. in addition in next year the peak was same as it was initially (50%). and started continuously rose through out the period then reached to 60% in 2010. It is interesting that the two remaining materials (aluminium cans and plastics) followed the same pattern whilst aluminium cans started being recycled in 1986(considerably less than 10%). It was clear that this process significantly went up to 45% in 2010. Least recycling process done by plastics from binging to end of the period (under 5% to closed to 10%).
The graph illustrates the percentage of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
(paper and cardboard, glass containers,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
and plastics) which underwent the recycling process between 1982 and 2010.

Overall
, paper and cardboard were most recycled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
although the trend was downward for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
while others experienced an upward trend.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations.

It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, paper and cardboard recycling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was higher than that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
well under 70% in 1982. Followed by 5%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
went
up in 1986
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 1990
suddenly
dropped around 65%. In later year (in 1994) fluctuated and rose over 80%. From 1994 to 2010 this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
gradually
declined and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hitt
to 70%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
compared
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was higher.

In 1982, containers which
was made
by glass raised by 5%.
Moreover
, this percentage was
significantly
decreased (40%) in 1990.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
in
next
year the peak was same as it was
initially
(50%).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
continuously
rose
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the period then reached to 60% in 2010.

It is interesting that the two remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
(
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
and plastics) followed the same pattern whilst
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
being recycled
in 1986(
considerably
less than 10%). It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this process
significantly
went up to 45% in 2010.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Least".
Least
recycling process done by plastics from binging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period (under 5% to closed to 10%).
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
229 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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