Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph below shows the proprotion of our differnt materials that were recycled from 1982 t0 2010 in a particular country. v.2

The graph below shows the proprotion of our differnt materials that were recycled from 1982 t0 2010 in a particular country. v. 2
The given line graph illustrates recycling rate of plastics, paper, aluminium cans and glass containers during 1982 to 2010. It is clear that recycling parentage for aluminium cans experienced significant increase, However plastics graph remained fairly stable with negligible growth, furthermore other trends saw fluctuations over 28 year period. In 1982, recycling rate for paper and glass containers were 65% and 50% respectively, while recycling aluminium cans started from 1986 and saw considerable growth after 24 years to over than 40% in 2010. However recycling plastics begun from 1990 and rose at negligible trend for the next years at approximately 9%. Moreover major materials in recycling industry followed different patterns after remarkable decline in 1990, level of recycling for paper fell slightly to 70%, in other hand numbers of glass containers rose considerably to 60% in 2010
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
rate of plastics, paper,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
cans and glass containers during 1982 to 2010.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
parentage for
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
cans experienced significant increase,
However
plastics graph remained
fairly
stable with negligible growth,
furthermore
other trends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
fluctuations over
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
28 year
period.

In 1982,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
rate for paper and glass containers were 65% and 50%
respectively
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
cans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 1986 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
considerable growth after 24 years to
Use "(over)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
over
than 40% in 2010.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
plastics begun from 1990 and rose at negligible trend for the
next
years at approximately 9%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
major materials in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
industry followed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
patterns after remarkable decline in 1990, level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
for paper fell
slightly
to 70%, in other hand numbers of glass containers rose
considerably
to 60% in 2010
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The graph below shows the proprotion of our differnt materials that were recycled from 1982 t0 2010 in a particular country. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts