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The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the US state of Oregon. v.1

The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the US state of Oregon. v. 1
The line graph shows how the population in three countries in the state of Oregon in the USA changed between 1940 and 2000. Overall, Washington had far higher population than Columbia and Yamhill and the population growth between 1980 and 2000 was considerably higher. In 1940, the population of Columbia was around 28 thousand, the lowest among the three counties in the Oregon state. Yamhill had a population of 30 thousand while Washington had 75 thousand inhabitants, the highest among these counties. By 1970, Yamhill’s population increased by 50% while Columbia witnessed about 40% population increase during the last three decades. At that time, Washington’s population reached to nearly 125 thousand which was somewhat double than the population of Yamhill and Columbia together in this year. Finally, in 2000, Columbia and Yamhill accommodated roughly 90 and 80 thousand citizens, a noticeable growth than that of the last three decades. In this year, Washington’s population reached to approximately 250 thousand, more than double than that of 1970’s.
The line graph
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shows
how the
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population
in three countries in the state of Oregon in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
between 1940 and 2000.
Overall
, Washington had far higher
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population
than Columbia and
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Yamhill
and the
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population
growth between 1980 and 2000 was
considerably
higher.

In 1940, the
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population
of Columbia was around 28 thousand, the lowest among the three counties in the Oregon state.
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Yamhill
had a
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population
of 30 thousand while Washington had 75 thousand inhabitants, the highest among these counties.

By 1970,
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Yamhill
’s
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population
increased by 50% while Columbia witnessed about 40%
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population
increase during the last three decades. At that time, Washington’s
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population
reached to
nearly
125 thousand which was somewhat
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than the
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population
of
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Yamhill
and Columbia together in this year.

Finally
, in 2000, Columbia and
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Yamhill
accommodated roughly 90 and 80 thousand citizens, a noticeable growth than that of the last three decades. In this year, Washington’s
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population
reached to approximately 250 thousand, more than double than that of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1970s".
1970’s
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the US state of Oregon. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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