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The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U S state of Oregon v.2

The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U S state of Oregon v. 2
The line chart depicts the changes in the population of three different countries in the U. S state of Oregon from 1940 to 2000. Overall, the number of people in all countries increased over the period of 60 years. It also clear that Washington had the highest number of residents, while the reverse is true for Columbia. In 1940, we can see from the chart, Washington had the highest number of people living, at 75. 000. This figure then rose gradually to 120. 000 in 1970. On the other hand, although standing at a lower number of 30. 000 at the beginning of the period, the population of Columbia also had grown to 45. 000 by 1970. Likewise, there was a slight increase in the population of Yamhill, increasing from just under to just over 30. 000 of people living in 1970. During 30 years later, it is interesting to note that, Washington' s population had risen sharply to 240. 000 of people at the end of the period. Washington, therefore, was still a country where had the most number of residents. Similarly, the population of both countries Columbia and Yamhill had grown steadily to 75. 000 and 90. 000 respectively.
The line chart depicts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
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population
of three
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different
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countries
in the U. S state of Oregon from 1940 to 2000.
Overall
, the
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number
of
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people
in all
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countries
increased over the period of 60 years. It
also
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
that Washington had the highest
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number
of residents, while the reverse is true for Columbia.

In 1940, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the chart, Washington had the highest
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number
of
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people
living, at 75. 000. This figure then rose
gradually
to 120. 000 in 1970.
On the other hand
, although standing at a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 30. 000 at the beginning of the period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Columbia
also
had grown to 45. 000 by 1970.
Likewise
, there was a slight increase in the
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population
of
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Yamhill
, increasing from
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just
under to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 30. 000 of
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people
living in 1970.

During 30 years later, it is interesting to note that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Washington&
#039; s
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population
had risen
sharply
to 240. 000 of
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people
at the
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end
of the period. Washington,
therefore
, was
still
a
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country
where had the most
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number
of residents.
Similarly
, the
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population
of both
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countries
Columbia and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yamhill
had grown
steadily
to 75. 000 and 90. 000
respectively
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U S state of Oregon v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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