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The graph below shows the percentages of male and female US citizens who never married. v.1

The graph below shows the percentages of male and female US citizens who never married. v. 1
The line graph shows the percentages of American men and women who remained unmarried. The statistical data is presented from 1990 to 2010 and it clearly indicates that the proportion of such Americans gradually increased over the period and unmarried men’s ratio was higher than that of women. According to the illustration, more than one quarter adult males and one-fifth females were unmarried in 1990. This proportion slightly increased in the next decade when more than 25% male and 21% female were unmarried. The proportion of this single men and women in next five years rose at a higher pace than that of the last decade. Afterwards, the unmarried population in the USA surged more rapidly. Between 2008 and 2010 the ratio significantly increased compared to the previous growth from 1990 to 2005. In just 2 years after 2008, around 30% US males remained unmarried while the proportion of unmarried females was slightly less than that, roughly 24%. In summary, unmarried adult males’ ratio in America was higher than that of females and not marrying is a trend that accelerated noticeably faster from 2008 to 2010.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentages of American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who remained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unmarried
. The statistical data
is presented
from 1990 to 2010 and it
clearly
indicates that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of such Americans
gradually
increased over the period and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unmarried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s ratio was higher than that of women.

According to the illustration, more than one quarter adult
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males
and one-fifth
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females
were
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unmarried
in 1990. This
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proportion
slightly
increased in the
next
decade when more than 25% male and 21%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unmarried
. The
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proportion
of this single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in
next
five years rose at a higher pace than that of the last decade. Afterwards, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unmarried
population in the USA surged more
rapidly
. Between 2008 and 2010 the ratio
significantly
increased compared to the previous growth from 1990 to 2005. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
2 years after 2008, around 30% US
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males
remained
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unmarried
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
was
slightly
less than that, roughly 24%.

In summary,
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unmarried
adult
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males’
ratio in America was higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and not marrying is a trend that accelerated
noticeably
faster from 2008 to 2010.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS academic The graph below shows the percentages of male and female US citizens who never married. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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