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The graphs below show the average monthly expenditure on children’s sports and participation in different sports in the UK from 2008 to 2014. v.1

The graphs below show the average monthly expenditure on children’s sports and participation in different sports in the UK from 2008 to 2014. v. 1
The line graphs depict average monthly spending on children’s sporting activities and the number of children who took part in football, athletics and swimming in the United Kingdom between 2008 and 2014. Overall, monthly spending on children’s sports increased over time and football was the most popular sports among British children. According to the first line chart, 20 million pounds was spent monthly, on an average, in 2008 for British children’s sporting activities which continually went up in the subsequent years. The expenditure in 2011 reached to over 25 million pounds and in 2014, this cost was as high as 32 million pounds approximately. In 2008, roughly 8 million children participated in football while 1 to 2 million in swimming and athletics, making football the most widely played sports in the UK. However, the popularity of swimming grew and in 2014 roughly 3. 8 million participants took this activity. With a steady rise in popularity, athletics was taken up by nearly 5 million children in 2014. Football participants range from 8. 5 to 9. 5 million during this period, considerably higher than the participants in the other two activities. It is worth noticing that more children participated in these sports in 2014 than they did in 2008.
The line graphs depict average monthly spending on
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children’s
sporting
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activities
and the number of
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children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
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football
, athletics and swimming in the United Kingdom between 2008 and 2014.
Overall
, monthly spending on
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children’s
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sports
increased over time and
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football
was the most popular
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sports
among British children.

According to the
first
line chart, 20
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million
pounds
was spent
monthly, on an average, in 2008 for British
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children’s
sporting
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activities
which
continually
went up in the subsequent years. The expenditure in 2011 reached to over 25
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million
pounds and in 2014, this cost was as high as 32
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million
pounds approximately.

In 2008, roughly 8
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million
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children
participated in
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football
while 1 to 2
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million
in swimming and athletics, making
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football
the most
widely
played
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sports
in the UK.
However
, the popularity of swimming grew and in 2014 roughly 3. 8
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million
participants took this
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activity
. With a steady rise in popularity, athletics
was taken
up by
nearly
5
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million
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children
in 2014.
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Football
participants range from 8. 5 to 9. 5
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million
during this period,
considerably
higher than the participants in the other two
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activities
. It is worth noticing that more
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children
participated in these
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sports
in 2014 than they did in 2008.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graphs below show the average monthly expenditure on children’s sports and participation in different sports in the UK from 2008 to 2014. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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