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The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011. v.2

The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011. v. 2
The given bar graph shows data on the number of male and female research students who were studying in six different subjects at a US university in 2011. As is observed from the given data, more male students were doing research in mathematics, programming and engineering subjects while in linguistic subjects, more females were in research related study than their male counterpart. According to the graph, 200 males were doing their research in Mathematics in 2011 whereas only about 40 female students were in the same faculty. The only subject in which the number of female researchers was higher than the male was Linguistics amounting more than 100 females compared to the around 80 males. More students were doing their research in Phycology and Natural Science than Engineering and Programming. Interestingly the number of students in Natural Science was same for male and female and that was 200. Again, both in Engineering and Programming there were 150 male students compared to the less than 100 female students. In conclusion, more males were in research studies in Mathematics, Programming, Engineering and Psychology than women in the given US University in 2011 than females. Female research students only superseded males in linguistic research.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data on the number of male and
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
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students
who were studying in six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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subjects
at a US university in 2011. As
is observed
from the
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given
data, more male
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students
were doing
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research
in mathematics,
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programming
and
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engineering
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subjects
while in linguistic
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subjects
, more
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females
were in
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research
related study than their male counterpart.

According to the graph, 200
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males
were doing their
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research
in Mathematics in 2011 whereas
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only
about 40
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were in the same faculty. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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subject
in which the number of
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female
researchers was higher than the male was Linguistics amounting more than 100
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females
compared to the around 80
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males
. More
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students
were doing their
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research
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phycology
and Natural Science than
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Engineering
and
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Programming
.
Interestingly
the number of
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students
in Natural Science was same for male and
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female
and that was 200. Again, both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Engineering
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Programming
there were 150 male
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students
compared to the less than 100
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female
students.

In conclusion
, more
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males
were in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
studies in Mathematics,
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Programming
,
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Engineering
and Psychology than women in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
US University in 2011 than
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females
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
superseded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in linguistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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