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The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011. v.3

The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011. v. 3
The provided chart compares the numbers of male and female enrollees in the research study in six subjects (linguistic, psychology, natural science, engineering programming and mathematics) at a US University. Overall, there were more male students enrolled in the field of research than female students. According to the given illustration, both male and female students have an equal number of enrollees in natural science. In mathematics, male students showed greater interest than female students. Furthermore, male enrollees in all the subjects except in linguistics. It is evident from the given data that natural science was the most sought subject for both male and female students as they recorded 400 enrollees altogether (200 on each group). In mathematics, male recorded another 200 enrollees as opposed to only about 50 female students. In addition, in psychology, there were about 375 enrollees, male students still dominated at 200 and 175 for their female counterpart. On the contrary, linguistic showed a different story as female students toppled the number of male students at around 120 and 80 respectively.
The provided chart compares the numbers of male and
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female
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enrollees
in the research study in six subjects (linguistic, psychology, natural science, engineering programming and mathematics) at a US University.
Overall
, there were more male
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students
enrolled in the field of research than
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female
students.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration, both male and
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female
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students
have an equal number of
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enrollees
in natural science. In mathematics, male
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
greater interest than
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female
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students
.
Furthermore
, male
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enrollees
in all the subjects except in linguistics. It is evident from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data that natural science was the most sought subject for both male and
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female
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students
as they recorded 400
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enrollees
altogether (200 on each group). In mathematics, male recorded another 200
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enrollees
as opposed to
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only
about 50
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female
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students
.
In addition
, in psychology, there were about 375
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enrollees
, male
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students
still
dominated at 200 and 175 for their
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female
counterpart.
On the contrary
, linguistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
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different
story as
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female
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students
toppled the number of male
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students
at around 120 and 80
respectively
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011. v. 3

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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