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The graph below shows the percentage sales of trainers made by a sportswear company in one year. v.1

The graph below shows the percentage sales of trainers made by a sportswear company in one year. v. 1
The column graph compares sales volume of trainer shoes in a year manufactures by a company. Overall, Flying boots, a trainer footwear type, that was launched at the starting of the year became popular while Golden feet dominated the market share in terms of its sale ratio. As is presented in the illustration, the sportswear company sold four types of trainer footwear throughout the year and the first quarter was dominated by the Golden feet and Zed runner shoes as they each made approximately one-third of the total sales. The newly launched trainers Flying boots brought around 15% businesses for this sportswear company. During the second quarter, the sales proportion of Flying boots increased to 32% while sales of Golden feet made one-third. Sales quota of High roller shrank considerably and the newly launched brand made the highest sale during the third quarter. With a declining sales ratio throughout the third quarter, Golden feet’s demand raised in the last quarter of the year while Flying boots made the second largest sales. Interestingly, other two trainer shoe models contributed to less than 20% sales of this company in the last quarter.
The column graph compares
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sales
volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainer
shoes in a
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year
manufactures by a
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company
.
Overall
,
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Flying
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boots
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainer
footwear type, that
was launched
at the starting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
became popular while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Golden
feet dominated the market share in terms of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
ratio.

As
is presented
in the illustration, the sportswear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
sold four types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainer
footwear throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
was dominated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Golden
feet and Zed runner shoes as they each made approximately one-third of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. The
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Flying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boots
brought around 15% businesses for this sportswear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. During the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
proportion of
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Flying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boots
increased to 32% while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
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Golden
feet made one-third.
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Sales
quota of High roller shrank
considerably
and the
newly
launched brand made the highest
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sale
during the third
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quarter
. With a declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
ratio throughout the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Golden
feet’s demand raised in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Flying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boots
made the second largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
Interestingly
, other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainer
shoe models contributed to less than 20%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS academic The graph below shows the percentage sales of trainers made by a sportswear company in one year. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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