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The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. v.3

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. v. 3
The bar chart compares two companies in Turkey in terms of their estimated sales of jeans next year. The pie chart illustrates the projected market share. Overall, it can be seen that the estimated sales of both companies will follow a similar trend of a general increase. Moreover, from the percentages shown in the pie chart, these two companies together are expected to possess half the total market share. The estimated sale of jeans of Mango Co. in January is 150 thousand of pairs. The figure for Jack& Jones Co. will be 450 thousand. Throughout the next 12 months, it is predicted that these figures will experience a sharp rise. In December, the sale of Mango Co. is estimated to be 600 thousand, 4 times higher than in January. The figure of Jack& Jones Co. will be 900 thousand, twice as much as itself in January. The pie chart shows that by the end of next year, these two companies are expected to possess half of the total market share, with the figure of Jack& Jones Co. being 30%, higher than the figure of 20% for Mango Co.
The bar
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chart
compares two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in Turkey in terms of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of jeans
next
year. The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the projected market share.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will follow a similar trend of a general increase.
Moreover
, from the percentages shown in the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
together are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to possess half the total market share.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of jeans of Mango Co. in January is 150 thousand of pairs. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jack&amp
; Jones Co. will be 450 thousand. Throughout the
next
12 months, it
is predicted
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
will experience a sharp rise. In December, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of Mango Co. is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
to be 600 thousand, 4 times higher than in January. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jack&amp
; Jones Co. will be 900 thousand, twice as much as itself in January.

The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
next
year, these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to possess half of the total market share, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jack&amp
; Jones Co. being 30%, higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of 20% for Mango Co.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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