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The graph below shows total internet users in Vietnam from 2003 to the second quarter 2012. v.1

The graph below shows total internet users in Vietnam from 2003 to the second quarter 2012. v. 1
The bar chart delineates how the internet users in Vietnam developed from the beginning of 2003 to the second quarter of 2012 according to the data provided by the Vietnam Internet Network Information Center. As is obvious, the internet subscribers in Vietnam increased steadily throughout the period. According to the diagram, 3. 1 million Vietnamese used the internet in 2003 which more than doubled in just 1 year. After another year, total internet users in Vietnam exceeded 10 million and in 2006 another 4 million new users emerged. During 2006 and 2008, the number of such netizens (people who are connected to the internet) doubled, accounting somewhat 21 million total users. It is worth noticing that the number of new internet subscribers kept on increasing in Vietnam throughout the period and in 2011, their number went as high as 30 million, ten times higher than that of 2003. During the second quarter of 2012, the Vietnamese internet subscribers reached a record high, 31. 2 million with 0. 6 million new users in just six months.
The bar chart delineates how the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in Vietnam developed from the beginning of 2003 to the second quarter of 2012 according to the data provided by the Vietnam Internet Network Information Center. As is obvious, the internet subscribers in Vietnam increased
steadily
throughout the period.

According to the diagram, 3. 1
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million
Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet in 2003 which more than doubled in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1 year. After another year, total internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in Vietnam exceeded 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and in 2006 another 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
emerged. During 2006 and 2008, the number of such netizens (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are connected
to the internet) doubled, accounting somewhat 21
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million
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
. It is worth noticing that the number of new internet subscribers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing in Vietnam throughout the period and in 2011, their number went as high as 30
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million
, ten times higher than that of 2003. During the second quarter of 2012, the Vietnamese internet subscribers reached a record high, 31. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
with 0. 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
six months.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows total internet users in Vietnam from 2003 to the second quarter 2012. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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