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The graph below shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had Internet access between 1999 and 2004. v.2

The graph below shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had Internet access between 1999 and 2004. v. 2
The bar graph shows the percentages of city and rural households with the internet access in a European country from 1999 to 2004. Generally speaking, fewer percentages of rural households had the internet connection than that of city people and overall internet accessibility enhanced remarkably over the time. In 1999, merely 2% rural household in this European country had access to the internet while around 15% city dwellers had this facility. Next year, one out of every 20 rural houses gained this access while almost one-third urban and suburban families were connected to the global internet. After two years, half of the city dwellers gained internet access while it was as small as 15% for rural citizens. Next two years, the percentages of households in rural areas who joined this network increased sharply, from 15% to 35%. The ratio of households in urban and suburban areas with the internet access rose to roughly 55%, a slower extension than that of rural households during the last three years. The ratio of homes, both in cities and rural areas, with access to the internet was quite negligible in 1999 but improved dramatically within next 5 years.
The bar graph
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shows
the percentages of city and
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rural
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households
with the internet
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access
in a European country from 1999 to 2004.
Generally
speaking, fewer percentages of
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rural
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households
had the internet connection than that of city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
overall
internet accessibility enhanced
remarkably
over the time.

In 1999,
merely
2%
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rural
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household
in this European country had
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access
to the internet while around 15% city dwellers had this facility.
Next
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year
, one out of every 20
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rural
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houses
gained this
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access
while almost one-third urban and suburban families
were connected
to the global internet. After two years, half of the city dwellers gained internet
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access
while it was as
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small
as 15% for
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rural
citizens.
Next
two years, the percentages of
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households
in
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rural
areas who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
this network increased
sharply
, from 15% to 35%. The ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in urban and suburban areas with the internet
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access
rose to roughly 55%, a slower extension than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
during the last three years. The ratio of homes, both in
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cities
and
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rural
areas, with
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access
to the internet was quite negligible in 1999
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
dramatically
within
next
5 years.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had Internet access between 1999 and 2004. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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