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the graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in great britain between 1950 and 2005 v.2

the graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in great britain between 1950 and 2005 v. 2
The presented line graph outlines the numbers of passenger changes over 55 years time period in three different type of railway journey. A glance at a graph reveals that National rail network and London underground had the highest number of people over the span in contrast to the light rails and metro systems. National rail network had 1000 million passengers in the year 1950, as t figures reach its peak about 1100millions at 1960. it then began to decrease significantly for up to 20 years, rebound itself in the period of 1980 to 1990 with approximately 800 millions passenger which depicts similar features with London underground within this year, before that it had maintained the stable number of data which as around 700millions over the period of 30 years. This figures rose marginally by both, touching around 1100 at the end of the year 2004. In contrast, light rail and metro system had not any number of passengers up to 1990 and then it steadily increased 60 million, reaching around 180 million at the end of the year.
The presented line graph outlines the
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numbers
of
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passenger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over 55 years time period in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of railway journey.

A glance at a graph reveals that National
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rail
network and London underground had the highest
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over the span
in contrast
to the light rails and metro systems.

National
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rail
network had 1000
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
in the
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year
1950, as t figures reach its peak about
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1100millions
at 1960.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
then began to decrease
significantly
for up to 20 years, rebound itself in the period of 1980 to 1990 with approximately 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
which depicts similar features with London underground within this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that it had maintained the stable
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number
of data which as around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
700millions
over the period of 30 years. This figures rose
marginally
by both, touching around 1100 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2004.

In contrast
, light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
and metro system had not any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
up to 1990 and then it
steadily
increased 60
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million
, reaching around 180
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million
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in great britain between 1950 and 2005 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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