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The graph below shows the number of graduates from the Higher College of Technology for men and women in the year 1999. v.2

The graph below shows the number of graduates from the Higher College of Technology for men and women in the year 1999. v. 2
The bar graph illustrates the number of male and female graduates of Higher Colleges of Technology from five different countries' colleges such as Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Al Ain, Sharjah, and Ras Al Khaimah. At the onset, it is clear that the number of male graduates was higher than the toll of female graduates in each country. Now, turning into the details, in Dubai, the number of females, which accounts for approximately 550, was considerably greater than the number of males, which makes up only roughly 425. In the case of Abu Dhabi, there was a mirror difference in the figure of males graduates and the toll of females college certificate holder. However, regarding the Al Ain, women graduates doubled men graduates, which was 125 and 225 respectively, while graduates from Sharjah, had the gap of 25 people between boys and girls. The same is the case with the graduates from Rah Al Khaimah.
The bar graph illustrates the
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number
of male and
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female
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graduates
of Higher Colleges of Technology from five
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different
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countries&
#039; colleges such as Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Al Ain,
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Sharjah
, and
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Ras
Al
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Khaimah
.

At the onset, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
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number
of male
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graduates
was higher than the toll of
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female
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graduates
in each country.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, turning into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in Dubai, the
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number
of
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females
, which accounts for approximately 550, was
considerably
greater than the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
roughly 425. In the case of Abu Dhabi, there was a mirror difference in the figure of
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males
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graduates
and the toll of
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females
college certificate holder.

However
, regarding the Al Ain, women
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graduates
doubled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
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graduates
, which was 125 and 225
respectively
, while
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graduates
from
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Sharjah
, had the gap of 25
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
between boys and girls. The same is the case with the
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graduates
from Rah Al
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khaimah
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of graduates from the Higher College of Technology for men and women in the year 1999. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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