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The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999. The bar chart shows the most popular contries visited by UK residents in 1999. v.2

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999. The bar chart shows the most popular contries visited by UK residents in 1999. v. 2
The first picture gives information about the number of visits to The UK by foreigners and overseas visits by UK residents over a period of 1979 to 1999. In addition, the second graph presents further details of five overseas destinations favorable by UK visitors in 1999. Overall, the number of visit by UK citizens constantly succeeds that by overseas visitors during the entire sample period. Though both started from around 10 million visits in the year of 1979, the difference of visits by different categories keep increasing, with an even faster speed since 1989, when overseas visits (30million) is approximately 1. 5 times of domestic visits (20million). By the end of 1999, abroad visits by UK citizens accounted for more than double of the visits by foreigners, namely, 53million compared with 25million. In terms of the bar chart, where the numbers of visits by UK residents to five European countries are given, Spain and France dominated as the most popular destinations with roughly 9 million visits and 11 million visits in 1999. Turkey, Greece and USA, on the other hand, all received less than 5 million hits at the same time. Moreover, the least people from UK have travelled to Turkey, with an approximately 2. 5 million visit. In total, these three countries accounted for less than half of the visits in 5 presented countries. In summary, More UK people travelled overseas than abroad residents visited the UK during reporting period. For the year of 1999, France and Spain are the favorite places of UK citizens.
The
first
picture gives information about the number of
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visits
to The UK by foreigners and
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overseas
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visits
by UK residents over a period of 1979 to 1999.
In addition
, the second graph presents
further
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details
of five
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overseas
destinations favorable by UK visitors in 1999.

Overall
, the number of
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visit
by UK citizens
constantly
succeeds that by
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overseas
visitors during the entire sample period. Though both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from around 10
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million
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visits
in the year of 1979, the difference of
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visits
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
increasing, with an even faster speed since 1989, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(30million)
is approximately 1. 5 times of domestic
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visits
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(20million)
. By the
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end
of 1999, abroad
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visits
by UK citizens accounted for more than double of the
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visits
by foreigners,
namely
,
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53million
compared with 25million.

In terms of the bar chart, where the numbers of
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visits
by UK residents to five European countries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, Spain and France dominated as the most popular destinations with roughly 9
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million
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visits
and 11
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
in 1999. Turkey, Greece and USA,
on the other hand
, all received less than 5
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million
hits at the same time.
Moreover
, the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from UK have travelled to Turkey, with an approximately 2. 5
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'visit' seems to be countable, so consider using: "visits".
visit
. In total, these three countries accounted for less than half of the
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visits
in 5 presented countries.

In summary, More UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelled
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overseas
than abroad residents visited the UK during reporting period. For the year of 1999, France and Spain are the favorite places of UK citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999. The bar chart shows the most popular contries visited by UK residents in 1999. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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