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It is difficult for people in the cities getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions? v.1

It is difficult for people in the cities getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions? v. 1
It has been widespread knowledge that a sedentary lifestyle is often associated with numerous deadly diseases, putting hundreds of millions of individuals’ lives at risk. Despite this, urban dwellers find it almost impossible to get an adequate workout to stay in shape. While several triggers are lying behind this problem, many reliable methods can be applied to tackle it. On the one hand, this disturbing reality is rooted in two main reasons. To begin with, it is due to the work commitment that workers cannot get enough physical exercise. Metropolises have always been a great attraction in terms of job opportunities and living conditions to job seekers and dwellers. However, in such places, to find a well-paying job is usually a daunting and challenging task, let alone to secure career prospects. Thus, employees must devote themselves to their career and burn the midnight oil, leaving no spare time for other activities, including physical exercise. Besides, technology addiction has driven city dwellers out of taking exercise. In today’s digital age, individuals tend to indulge in virtual entertainment like online games because of its visual and mental satisfaction. Since such virtual activities are highly addictive and time-consuming, the more time they spend on them, the more dependent they become. This results in them neglecting other leisure activities, such as physical ones. On the other hand, however, there are still many feasible solutions to this issue. First, governing bodies need to introduce new laws and directives on working time which reduce the weekly working hours to an acceptable amount. Therefore, working staff would have more time for leisure pursuits, increasing the probability that people will join in physical activities and improving work-life balance. Second, developing and integrating new software that encourages users to take exercise can also help alleviate such a problem. For instance, many Android and IOS applications are functioning as a personal assistant that reminds users about when to take exercise as well as measures their heart rate, anticipating any health-related issues. Thus, these applications can help to raise users’ awareness about the necessity of taking exercise and develop a regular workout habit. In conclusion, though it may have several root causes of this trouble, various attainable measures can be taken to eradicate it. Tough as it might seem for some citizens at first, the outcomes of such methods worth efforts.
It has been widespread knowledge that a sedentary lifestyle is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
associated with numerous deadly diseases, putting hundreds of millions of individuals’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Despite this, urban dwellers find it almost impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an adequate workout to stay in shape. While several triggers are lying behind this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reliable methods can
be applied
to tackle it.

On the one hand, this disturbing reality
is rooted
in two main reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is due to the work commitment that workers cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. Metropolises have always been a great attraction in terms of job opportunities and living conditions to job seekers and dwellers.
However
, in such places, to find a well-paying job is
usually
a daunting and challenging task,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone to secure career prospects.
Thus
, employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
devote themselves to their career and burn the midnight oil, leaving no spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Besides
, technology addiction has driven city dwellers out of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s digital age, individuals tend to indulge in virtual entertainment like online games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its visual and mental satisfaction. Since such virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
highly
addictive and time-consuming, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend on them, the more dependent they become. This results in them neglecting other leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
ones.

On the other hand
,
however
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
feasible solutions to this issue.
First
, governing bodies need to introduce new laws and directives on working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the weekly working hours to an acceptable amount.
Therefore
, working staff would have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for leisure pursuits, increasing the probability that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and improving work-life balance. Second, developing and integrating new software that encourages users to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
alleviate such a problem.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Android and IOS applications are functioning as a personal assistant that reminds users about when to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as well
as measures their heart rate, anticipating any health-related issues.
Thus
, these applications can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to raise users’ awareness about the necessity of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and develop a regular workout habit.

In conclusion
, though it may have several root causes of this trouble, various attainable measures can
be taken
to eradicate it. Tough as it might seem for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
citizens at
first
, the outcomes of such methods worth efforts.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic It is difficult for people in the cities getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions? v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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