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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by theTourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. v.1

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by theTourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. v. 1
The given line graph shows amount of enquiries which sent to tourist information office by telephone, letter or email and or by person between january until june in a year 2011. It is clear that although in first month of year enquiries recvied in a person was lower than other opportunities, which sending enquiries by telephone was popular way but at end of graph the trend for in person overtook other figures. In January number of enquiries recvied by 3 different ways was lower than 1000, furthermore  after month number of enquiries received by telephone saw considerable decline although enquiries which sent by email or letter remaind fairly stabe for 3 monthes at 700, moreover acoording to graph for the rest of month number of enquiries reached to  tourism post office by person sharply rose from approximately 400 at first month to over than 1800 at end of graph, Although sending enquiries by email was second popular way but at the end declined to under 400. According to graph figure for telephone enquiries witnessed stability and decline but for the end graph numbers experienced growth to 1600 enquiries.
The
given
line
graph
shows
amount of
enquiries
which
sent
to tourist information office by
telephone
, letter or email and or by
person
between
january
until
june
in a year 2011.

It is
clear
that although in
first
month
of year
enquiries
recvied
in a
person
was lower than other opportunities, which sending
enquiries
by
telephone
was
popular
way
but
at
end
of
graph
the trend for in
person
overtook other figures.

In January
number
of
enquiries
recvied
by 3
different
ways was lower than 1000,
furthermore
 
after
month
number
of
enquiries
received by
telephone
saw
considerable decline although
enquiries
which
sent
by email or letter
remaind
fairly
stabe
for 3
monthes
at 700,
moreover
acoording
to
graph
for the rest of
month
number
of
enquiries
reached to
 
tourism post office by
person
sharply
rose from approximately 400 at
first
month
to over than 1800 at
end
of
graph
, Although sending
enquiries
by email was second popular way
but
at the
end
declined to under 400. According to
graph
figure for
telephone
enquiries
witnessed stability and decline
but
for the
end
graph
numbers
experienced growth to 1600
enquiries
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by theTourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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