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The graph below shows the number of enquiries to tourist information office made by telephone letter email and in person from January 2001 to June 2001 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relev v.2

The graph below shows the number of enquiries to tourist information office made by telephone letter email and in person from January 2001 to June 2001
The given line chart depicts the number of inquiries made to the tourist information office through various means of communication, between January and June 2001. Overall, personal and telephonic enquiries showed an upward tendency, while inquiries by email and letter had faced the worst period. Telephonic enquiries started at 800 in January and stabilized at this number till April 2001. After which experienced a steady growth and ended at around 1100 in June 2001. However, personal inquiries stood at the bottom point, 400 in January. Interestingly, the number of individual inquiries rocketed at just above 800 in March and surpassed information by telephone. Again, The figure increased rapidly, constituted 1200, after showing a steady period between March and April 2001. The trend for inquiries by emails and letters stood at 600 in January. Inquiry office had approximately 400 inquiries in May 2001. In following month, this number is plummeted and accounted for only 200 in June 2001.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line chart depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquiries
made to the tourist information office through various means of communication, between January and June 2001.

Overall
, personal and telephonic
Do not mix variants of the same word ('enquiry' and 'inquiry') within a single text.
enquiries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward tendency, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquiries
by email and letter had faced the worst period.

Telephonic
Do not mix variants of the same word ('enquiry' and 'inquiry') within a single text.
enquiries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 800 in January and stabilized at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
till April 2001. After which experienced a steady growth and ended at around 1100 in June 2001.
However
, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquiries
stood at the bottom point, 400 in January.
Interestingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquiries
rocketed at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 800 in March and surpassed information by telephone. Again, The figure increased
rapidly
, constituted 1200, after showing a steady period between March and April 2001.

The trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquiries
by emails and letters stood at 600 in January.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Inquiry
office had approximately 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquiries
in May 2001. In following month, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is plummeted
and accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200 in June 2001.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries to tourist information office made by telephone letter email and in person from January 2001 to June 2001

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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