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The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v.6

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 6
The provided bar graph gives information on the four types of transports used in one European city during 1960, 1980 and 2000. As evident from the chart, major changes were observed in the usage of cars and buses and cars become the most preferred transportation type in the later year. In 1960, the maximum proportion of people travelled by bus (about 38%) compared to the 6% car owners. On the contrary, in 2000 around 37% population preferred travelling by cars, whereas only 15% bus passengers were there. The proportion of people who used tubes for transportation remained on an average between 20% to 30% during the 3 years period. It shows that tubes were popular even in later years. On the other hand, commuters who travelled by train increased from 19% in 1960 to 28% in 1980. However, the figures reduced to 22% by 2000. Cars and buses as transportations showed an opposite trend in their popularity. To summarise, there was a tremendous rise in the usage of cars for travelling to and from the office from 1960 to 2000.
The provided bar graph gives information on the four types of transports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in one European city during 1960, 1980 and 2000. As evident from the chart, major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
were observed
in the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and buses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
become the most preferred transportation type in the later year.

In 1960, the maximum proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelled by bus (about 38%) compared to the 6%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners.
On the contrary
, in 2000 around 37% population preferred travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% bus passengers were there. The proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
tubes for transportation remained on an average between 20% to 30% during the 3 years period. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that tubes were popular even in later years.
On the other hand
, commuters who travelled by train increased from 19% in 1960 to 28% in 1980.
However
, the figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 22% by 2000.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
and buses as transportations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an opposite trend in their popularity.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, there was a tremendous rise in the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for travelling to and from the office from 1960 to 2000.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 6

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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