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The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v.2

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 2
The bar graph gives data on different transportation systems that people used in a European city in three decades- 1960, 1980 and 2000 and also compares how the habit of going to work and returning home had changed over the 40 years period. Overall, with the widespread use of cars, peoples' habit of using bikes and walking reduced noticeably. Initially, in 1960, lots of people used to commute either on foot or by a bike, 35% and roughly 27% consecutively compared to only about 7% private cars and about 20% bus usage. After 20 years, the number of car and bus users soared noticeably to 25% and to nearly 28%. The car users grew more than 3 times over 20 years and in the same year, people travelling on foot fell to less than half as it was in 1960. In 2000, only 10% work-goers walked, only about 7% people rode a bicycle compared to 18% bus users and about 38% private car users. In 1960, the majority of the people travelled to and from work on foot or using a car but the scenario became completely different after 40 years when most of the people used cars or buses. answer can be followed as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches. )
The bar graph gives data on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transportation systems that
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a European city in three decades- 1960, 1980 and 2000 and
also
compares how the habit of going to work and returning home had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the 40 years period.
Overall
, with the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, peoples' habit of using bikes and walking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
noticeably
.

Initially
, in 1960, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to commute either on foot or by a bike, 35% and roughly 27%
consecutively
compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 7% private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and about 20% bus usage. After 20 years, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and bus users soared
noticeably
to 25% and to
nearly
28%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users grew more than 3 times over 20 years and in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling on foot fell to less than half as it was in 1960. In 2000,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% work-goers walked,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 7%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rode a bicycle compared to 18% bus users and about 38% private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users.

In 1960, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelled to and from work on foot or using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the scenario became completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
after 40 years when most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
or buses.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
answer
can
be followed
as an example of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
answer.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
note that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one example out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible approaches.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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