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The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola. v.1

The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola. v. 1
The pie chart and the line graph in combination depict Coca-Cola's sales in different markets and its share price over 4 years, commencing from 1996. Overall, North America, Latin America and Europe were Coca-Cola's biggest markets in 2000 and this firm’s share price fluctuated wildly from 1996 to 2001. As can be seen from the chart, North Americans consumed the highest units of Coca-Cola’s products as this region generated 30. 4% of total sales. Following this, Latin America was reported to be the second largest market with 25. 7% sales. On the other hand, Europeans contributed greatly to Coca-Cola’s profits by consuming 20. 5% units. Asia, as well as Africa & Middles East, were not successful markets for Coca-Cola due to its low percentages of sales volume in each region (16. 4% and 7% respectively). Regarding the company's share price, it was approximately $38 per share in 1996, the lowest between 1996 and 2001. Next 2 years this brand's trading price at the share market witnessed a significant increase specifically at the end of each year ($70 and $80 respectively) despite a minimal drop to nearly $52 at the beginning of 1998. A remarkable slip back could be seen in the next two years, especially the lowest point of $48 in the middle of 2000. However, this trend changed and climbed back to $60 at the end of 2000 and reached nearly $55 a share in 2001.
The pie chart and the line graph in combination depict Coca-Cola's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
markets and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
over 4 years, commencing from 1996.

Overall
, North America, Latin America and Europe were Coca-Cola's biggest markets in 2000 and this firm’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
fluctuated
wildly
from 1996 to 2001.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, North Americans consumed the highest units of Coca-Cola’s products as this region generated 30. 4% of total
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sales
. Following this, Latin America
was reported
to be the second largest
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market
with 25. 7%
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sales
.
On the other hand
, Europeans contributed
greatly
to Coca-Cola’s profits by consuming 20. 5% units. Asia,
as well
as Africa & Middles East, were not successful markets for Coca-Cola due to its low percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
volume in each region (16. 4% and 7%
respectively
).

Regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
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share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, it was approximately $38 per
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share
in 1996, the lowest between 1996 and 2001.
Next
2 years this brand's trading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
witnessed a significant increase
specifically
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
($70 and $80
respectively
) despite a minimal drop to
nearly
$52 at the beginning of 1998. A remarkable slip back could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
next
two years,
especially
the lowest point of $48 in the middle of 2000.
However
, this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and climbed back to $60 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2000 and reached
nearly
$55 a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
in 2001.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS academic The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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