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The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v.5

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 5
The provided bar graph compares the types of transportation used by commuters in one European city in three different years commencing from 1960. Four transportation types- train, car, tube and bus are compared in the graph and it is evident that in this European city people used buses in early years but started preferring cars and tubes in later years to reach and return from their workplaces. As is observed in the given diagram, the majority of the commuters (about 38%) in this city used buses in 1960. The use of tube comprised over 25% while approximately 19% passengers used trains. Only 6% passengers used cars in this year which was quite fewer than the percentage of other transportation users. After 20 years, the percentages of the train and the car users increased significantly while tube and bus users decreased. In this year (1980), more than 22% users used cars and the percentages of train users exceeded the passengers of bus users. Finally, in the year 2000, the percentages of car users rocketed and reached to bout 37%. The percentages of other transportation users decreased except for the tube that was used by 1 out of four passengers in this year. Interestingly the use of bus decreased to only 15% and that was lower than the commuters of any other transportation type to commute to and from their offices.
The provided bar graph compares the types of
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transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by commuters in one European city in three
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different
years commencing from 1960. Four
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transportation
types-
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train
,
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car
,
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tube
and bus
are compared
in the graph and it is evident that in this European city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
buses in early years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
preferring
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cars
and
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tubes
in later years to reach and return from their workplaces.

As
is observed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram, the majority of the commuters (about 38%) in this city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
buses in 1960. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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tube
comprised over 25% while approximately 19%
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passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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trains
.
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Only
6%
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passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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cars
in this
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year
which was quite fewer than the
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percentage
of other
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transportation
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users
. After 20 years, the
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percentages
of the
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train
and the
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car
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users
increased
significantly
while
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tube
and bus
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users
decreased. In this
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year
(1980), more than 22%
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users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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cars
and the
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percentages
of
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train
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users
exceeded the
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passengers
of bus
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users
.
Finally
, in the
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year
2000, the
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percentages
of
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car
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users
rocketed and reached to bout 37%. The
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percentages
of other
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transportation
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users
decreased
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except for
the
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tube
that was
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used
by 1 out of four
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passengers
in this
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year
.
Interestingly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of bus decreased to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% and that was lower than the commuters of any other
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transportation
type to commute to and from their offices.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 5

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
229 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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