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The graph below shows the daily water consumption for Americans in their homes. v.1

The graph below shows the daily water consumption for Americans in their homes. v. 1
The illustration presents data on the daily water usage by an American for different purposes. The water consumption is measured in gallon per day and is compared considering whether the conservation method is used or not. It is obvious that water conservation saves a great deal of water and the highest water Americans consume for flushing toilets, washing clothes and taking showers. According to the bar chart, An American consumes 19 gallons of water for flushing toilets and this outgo is reduced to half of that if the water is conserved. An American use 15 gallons water to clean clothes using a washing machine and this is reduced by 4 gallons through the conservation techniques. Interestingly, the same amount of water is needed for using faucets regardless of the conservation method and this quantity is 11 gallons. Leaks waste 10 gallons water a day and the least water use could be observed for washing dishes in dishwashers. Moreover, an American consume 13 gallons of water to take a shower and this is even higher than the water required for using faucets. It is interesting to notice that an American can save around 20 gallons of water if the conservation method is in place.
The illustration presents data on the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage by an American for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption
is measured
in gallon per day and
is compared
considering whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
method is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
or not. It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
saves a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Americans consume for flushing toilets, washing clothes and taking showers.

According to the bar chart, An American consumes
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
19 gallons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for flushing toilets and this outgo is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to half of that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is conserved
. An American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
15 gallons
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water
to clean clothes using a washing machine and this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by
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4 gallons
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
techniques.
Interestingly
, the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is needed
for using faucets regardless of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
method and this quantity is
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
11 gallons
. Leaks waste
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10 gallons
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water
a day and the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
could
be observed
for washing dishes in dishwashers.
Moreover
, an American consume
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
13 gallons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to take a shower and this is even higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
required for using faucets. It is interesting to notice that an American can save around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
20 gallons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
method is in place.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The graph below shows the daily water consumption for Americans in their homes. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
203 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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