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The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. v.3

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. v. 3
The given graph shows the water consumption in different sectors and how water usage changes rapidly from 1900 to 2000. It also compares the consumption of water in the agriculture sector in two different countries according to their population. Throughout the century, the highest water consumption could be observed in agricultural sector respectively which was initially 500 km³ and rose steadily approximately to 3000 km³ respectively. Usage of water recorded at a minimal level in 1900 and it remained same in half of the century. In 1950 and onwards, water consumption in industrial sector grew significantly to over 1000 km³ while in domestic sector slightly increment in water usages can be seen which was about only 300 km³. The given table illustrates the water consumption in different areas of the world. Irrigated land in Brazil was 26, 500 km2 with the population of 176 million and water consumption per person was 359 m³ whereas D. R. C possesses 100 km2 irrigated land with the lowest number of population (only 5. 2 million) and they consumed 8 m³  water per person respectively. Moreover, Brazil consumed more water while Congo consumed less water in irrigated lands.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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sectors
and how
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water
usage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
rapidly
from 1900 to 2000. It
also
compares the
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consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries according to their population.

Throughout the century, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
could
be observed
in agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
respectively
which was
initially
500 km³ and rose
steadily
approximately to 3000 km³
respectively
. Usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
recorded at a minimal level in 1900 and it remained same in half of the century. In 1950 and onwards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
grew
significantly
to over 1000 km³ while in domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
slightly
increment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usages can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
which was about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
300 km³.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of the world. Irrigated land in Brazil was 26, 500 km2 with the population of 176 million and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
per person was 359 m³ whereas D. R. C possesses 100 km2 irrigated land with the lowest number of population (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5. 2 million) and they consumed 8 m³
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
per person
respectively
.
Moreover
, Brazil consumed more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
while Congo consumed less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in irrigated lands.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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