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The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. v.4

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. v. 4
The diagram illustrates the information about three types of daily person-consumed spreads in a nation between 1981 and 2007. Overall, there was a significant decline in both margarine and low-fat and reduced spreads, while butter fluctuated erratically. In addition, the number of low-fat was the highest figure at the end of the period. Margarine was initially the highest number of spreads consumed. it stood at around 142 grams. The figure reached the peaks in the next following years at approximately 158 grams. After that, it decreased sharply to about 69 grams in 1996 and followed by a gradual decline to about 60 grams at the end of reported year. The figure of low-fat and reduced spreads was initially a half of that of margarine and, in 1986, it slightly dropped to around 80 grams. Following which, the figure witnessed an incline to d the similar number that of margarine in 1991 (100 grams), before observed a flat change for five years. Lastly, in 2007, the figure went down to about 70 grams. butter was originally used in 1996 and experienced a substantial rise to more than 80 grams in 2001. At the end of the period, it accounted for 40 grams per person.
The diagram illustrates the information about three types of daily person-consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
in a nation between 1981 and 2007.
Overall
, there was a significant decline in both margarine and low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
, while butter fluctuated
erratically
.
In addition
, the number of low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Margarine was
initially
the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
consumed.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
stood at around 142
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
reached the peaks in the
next
following years at approximately 158
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grams
. After that, it decreased
sharply
to about 69
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1996 and followed by a gradual decline to about 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of reported year.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
was
initially
a half of that of margarine and, in 1986, it
slightly
dropped to around 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. Following which, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
witnessed an incline to d the similar number that of margarine in 1991 (100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams)
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
observed a flat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for five years.
Lastly
, in 2007, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
went down to about 70 grams.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
butter
was
originally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 1996 and experienced a substantial rise to more than 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2001. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, it accounted for 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per person.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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