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The carts below give the information about workforce composition in the UK, and about average hourly earnings. v.2

The carts below give the information about workforce composition in the UK, and about average hourly earnings. v. 2
The graphs illustrate the data on the composition of the workforce in the United Kingdom and the average payment in an hour. Overall, most of the British employee is full-time men and just small fraction is part-time men. Both male and female received higher payment in full-time work. In the total of workforce almost a 25 million in the UK, almost a half that of proportion is full-time men (45%), while just over a quarter is female full-timer (28%). In contrast, women are likely to have a bigger composition of the part-time job than men, while the former accounts 21%, the letter is 6%. The figure of the hourly earning shows the amount of payment was higher in the 8 hours job than a part-time job. A full-timer man was paid at around 13 euro per hour, whereas the female received lower 2 euros that of men. However, the female part-timer was paid higher than male on a part-time job, while female received 8 euros, the male was compensated 7. 5 euros.
The graphs illustrate the data on the composition of the workforce in the United Kingdom and the average payment in an hour.

Overall
, most of the British employee is full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fraction is part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
received higher payment in full-time work.

In the total of workforce almost a 25 million in the UK, almost a half that of proportion is full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
(45%), while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a quarter is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
full-timer (28%).
In contrast
, women are likely to have a bigger composition of the part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, while the former accounts 21%, the letter is 6%.

The figure of the hourly earning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the amount of payment was higher in the 8 hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
than a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. A full-timer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was paid
at around 13 euro per hour, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
received lower 2 euros that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
part-timer
was paid
higher than male on a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
received 8 euros, the male
was compensated
7. 5 euros.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The carts below give the information about workforce composition in the UK, and about average hourly earnings. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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