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The given line chart demonstrates the consumption of three spreads, during the period of 1981 to 2007. v.2

The given line chart demonstrates the consumption of three spreads, during the period of 1981 to 2007. v. 2
The given line chart demonstrates the consumption of three spreads, during the period of 1981 to 2007. Overall, it is evident from the figure that the consumption of Butter increased till 1986, then after it started falling drastically while the usage of Margarine dropped till 1986 and then trend went upward for some period but after that, it started dipping significantly. Another noticeable thing was the consumption of Lowfat & reduced spreads increased in between from 1996 to 2001 and then it went down. Firstly, the usage of Butter from approximately 145 grams in 1981 to 155 grams in 1986, thereafter it plunged rapidly till 2007 and settled finally to 50 grams. Additionally, the usage of Margarine went down moderately from 1981 to 1986, from 90 grams to 80 grams respectively. After 1986, though it showed recovery and remained flat for some duration past 1996 it started to fall. Turning to the consumption of Lowfat and reduced spreads its consumption was visible after 1996 at 10 grams and it was growing till 2001 but this trend reversed after this period, as thereafter it rested at 70 grams in 2007 compared to 85 grams in 2001.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line chart demonstrates the
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consumption
of three spreads, during the period of 1981 to 2007.

Overall
, it is evident from the figure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of Butter increased till 1986, then after it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
falling
drastically
while the usage of Margarine dropped till 1986 and then trend went upward for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
dipping
significantly
. Another noticeable thing was the
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consumption
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lowfat
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
spreads increased in between from 1996 to 2001 and then it went down.

Firstly
, the usage of Butter from approximately 145
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grams
in 1981 to 155
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1986, thereafter it plunged
rapidly
till 2007 and settled
finally
to 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
.
Additionally
, the usage of Margarine went down
moderately
from 1981 to 1986, from 90
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grams
to 80
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grams
respectively
. After 1986, though it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
recovery and remained flat for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
duration past 1996 it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fall.

Turning to the
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consumption
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lowfat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
spreads its
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consumption
was visible after 1996 at 10
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grams
and it was growing till 2001
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend reversed after this period, as thereafter it rested at 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007 compared to 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2001.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The given line chart demonstrates the consumption of three spreads, during the period of 1981 to 2007. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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