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The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. v.2

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. v. 2
The consumption of margarine, butter and low-fat spreads in a country from 1981 to 2007 is compared in the line chart. The daily per person ingesting is measured in grams. It is apparent that low fat & reduced spread had been in use from 1996 but soon it became the most preferred spread type in this country. As the data suggests, butter was the most consumed spread type in 1981 with slightly over 140-gram daily intakes.   Consumption of margarine in this year was just below 100 grams. After 5 years, the use of butter rose while it actually decreased for margarine. But both of their daily consumption intersected in 1991 as the demand for margarine remained steady till 1996 at which point butter consumption dripped as low as 65 grams per person. The use of butter steadily declined after 1986. The 'low fat and reduced spread' was introduced in 1996 and it soon became the most consumed spread type with a sharp rise in its use. In 2001, the demand for the latter spread reached as high as 80 grams while the other two spreads were losing their demand. Finally, in 2007, people consumed around 70 grams low fat and reduced spread, and consumptions of butter and margarine were around 45 and 40 grams consecutively at that time.
The
consumption
of
margarine
,
butter
and low-
fat
spreads
in a country from 1981 to 2007
is compared
in the line chart. The daily per person ingesting
is measured
in
grams
. It is apparent that low
fat
&
reduced
spread
had been in
use
from 1996
but
soon
it became the most preferred
spread
type in this country.

As the data suggests,
butter
was the most consumed
spread
type in 1981 with
slightly
over
140-gram
daily intakes.
 
Consumption
of
margarine
in this year was
just
below 100
grams
. After 5 years, the
use
of
butter
rose while it actually decreased for
margarine
.
But
both of their daily
consumption
intersected in 1991 as the demand for
margarine
remained steady till 1996 at which point
butter
consumption
dripped as low as 65
grams
per person. The
use
of
butter
steadily
declined after 1986. The 'low
fat
and
reduced
spread'
was introduced
in 1996 and it
soon
became the most consumed
spread
type with a sharp rise in its
use
. In 2001, the demand for the latter
spread
reached as high as 80
grams
while the other two
spreads
were losing their demand.
Finally
, in 2007,
people
consumed around 70
grams
low
fat
and
reduced
spread
, and
consumptions
of
butter
and
margarine
were around 45 and 40
grams
consecutively
at that time.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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