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The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 5
The line graph illustrates the weekly intake of four different types of meat in Europe for a period of 25 years starting from the year 1979. Overall, it can be seen that although there was an increasing trend for the consumption of chicken throughout the period given, the reverse was true for that of beef, lamb and fish. Initially, in the year1979, the Europeans were keener on eating beef than any other types of meat. It was about 220 grammes of beef being consumed every week. The consumption of lamb, chicken and fish were much lower than beef that is approximately 150 grammes for lamb and chicken and only just above 50 grammes of fish in 1979. A similar pattern can be seen from the graph for the intakes of beef, lamb and fish which showed an overall decreasing trend with some fluctuations in between the years. However, the consumption of beef showed a bigger fluctuation from 1979 to 1994 before starting to decline steadily. On the other hand, the consumption of fish had the smallest fluctuations throughout the period. Turning to the consumption of chicken, it had an overall increasing trend which contrasts with others. Even though it was consumed only 150 grammes per week by Europeans in 1979, it reached to just below 250 grammes by 2004 which became the most favourable meat in Europe in 2004. Interestingly, fish remained the least favourite meat throughout the time frame, only about 50 grammes of fish consumed per week.
The line graph illustrates the weekly intake of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
in Europe for a period of 25 years starting from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1979.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that although there was an increasing trend for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of chicken throughout the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, the reverse was true for that of
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beef
,
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lamb
and fish.

Initially
, in the
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year1979
, the Europeans were keener on eating
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beef
than any other types of
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meat
. It was about 220
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grammes
of
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beef
being consumed
every week. The
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consumption
of
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lamb
, chicken and fish were much lower than
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beef
that is
approximately 150
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
for
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lamb
and chicken and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 50
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
of fish in 1979. A similar pattern can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph for the intakes of
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beef
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
and fish which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an
overall
decreasing trend with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations in between the years.
However
, the
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consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a bigger fluctuation from 1979 to 1994
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before
starting to decline
steadily
.
On the other hand
, the
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consumption
of fish had the smallest fluctuations throughout the period.

Turning to the
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consumption
of chicken, it had an
overall
increasing trend which contrasts with others.
Even though
it
was consumed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
150
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
per week by Europeans in 1979, it reached to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 250
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
by 2004 which became the most
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favourable
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meat
in Europe in 2004.
Interestingly
, fish remained the least
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
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meat
throughout the time frame,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 50
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
of fish consumed per week.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 5

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
249 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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