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The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v.1

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 1
The line graph compares the amount of fish, chicken, beef and lamb people in a European country consumed weekly per person over a period of 25 years. From 1979 to 2004, the consumption of fish in this European country had always been far less than meat with a steady amount of approximately 50 grammes per week per person. As for the trends of meat consumption, the chicken had risen to become the most eaten meat in the year of 2004 compared with the gradual decrease of beef and lamb. Despite a small spike appeared in 1984 for beef consumption, the line illustrates a general downward trend, making it the second most eaten meat in the year of 2004 whereas beef was the most consumed meat per week dropped from around 225 grams to 100 grams per person, showing a decrease of 125 grams for these 25 years. People in this European country ate roughly 150 grammes of chicken or lamb per week /per person in 1979. However, 25 years after 1979, the consumption of chicken rose significantly to around 250 grammes per week while the amount of lamb consumed dropped to a little higher than 50 grammes weekly. The opposite trend between chicken and lamb consumption eventually made a gap of 100 grammes in 2004.
The line graph compares the amount of fish, chicken,
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beef
and
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lamb
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a European country consumed weekly per
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person
over a period of 25 years.

From 1979 to 2004, the
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consumption
of fish in this European country had always been far less than
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meat
with a steady amount of approximately 50
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
per
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week
per
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person
. As for the trends of
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meat
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consumption
, the chicken had risen to become the most eaten
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meat
in the year of 2004 compared with the gradual decrease of
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beef
and lamb.

Despite a
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small
spike appeared in 1984 for
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beef
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consumption
, the line illustrates a general downward trend, making it the second most eaten
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meat
in the year of 2004 whereas
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beef
was the most consumed
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meat
per
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week
dropped from around 225 grams to 100 grams per
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person
, showing a decrease of 125 grams for these 25 years.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in this European country ate roughly 150
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grammes
of chicken or
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lamb
per
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week
/per
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person
in 1979.
However
, 25 years after 1979, the
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consumption
of chicken rose
significantly
to around 250
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
per
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week
while the amount of
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lamb
consumed dropped to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
higher than 50
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
weekly. The opposite trend between chicken and
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lamb
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consumption
eventually
made a gap of 100
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
in 2004.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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