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The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v.3

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 3
The given line graph compares the fish and meat consumptions by the people of a European country from 1979 to 2004. As is presented in the graph, the consumption of chicken increased over time while meats of different types were more preferred by people in the given European country than the fishes. According to the graph, more than 200 grammes of beef was consumed daily by each person initially in 1979. In this year, each person on an average ate 150 grammes of chicken and lambs while the consumption was just over 50 grammes in this year. Over time people preferred chicken and the consumption kept on increasing and reached to over 250 grammes per day by each person. The consumption of beef, lamb decreased over time and finally, in 2004, the average consumption of these two meat types decreased to around 100 grammes per person in a day. The fish consumption remained almost the same throughout the years and slightly decreased over time. In summary, people started consuming more chicken than beef and lamb and the fish consumption remained almost the same.
The
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given
line graph compares the fish and meat
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consumptions
by the
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people
of a European country from 1979 to 2004.

As
is presented
in the graph, the
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consumption
of chicken increased
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over
time while meats of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types were more preferred by
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people
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
European country than the fishes.

According to the graph, more than 200
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grammes
of beef
was consumed
daily by each
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person
initially
in 1979. In this year, each
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person
on an average ate 150
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grammes
of chicken and lambs while the
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consumption
was
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just
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over
50
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grammes
in this year.
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Over
time
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people
preferred chicken and the
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consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing and reached to
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over
250
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grammes
per day by each
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person
. The
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consumption
of beef, lamb decreased
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over
time and
finally
, in 2004, the average
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consumption
of these two meat types decreased to around 100
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grammes
per
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person
in a day. The fish
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consumption
remained almost the same throughout the years and
slightly
decreased
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over
time.

In summary,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
consuming more chicken than beef and lamb and the fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
remained almost the same.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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