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The graph below shows the comparison between the number of applicants and the number of students who were granted admission in a university. v.2

The graph below shows the comparison between the number of applicants and the number of students who were granted admission in a university. v. 2
The column graph shows a comparison data between the number of applicants and the number of accepted students in a university over a decade, commencing from 1993. Overall, the number of applicants to this university remarkably increased each year despite a stable acceptance rate by the university authority. According to the illustration, around 250 students applied for admission to that university and almost 200 of them were granted. Next year, applicants went up to approximately 800 but half of them were rejected. The number of admission seekers to this institute steadily surged and in 2000 more than 3 thousand pupils attempted for admission. However, at this time only 600 of them were granted admission which means 80% applications were rejected in this year. This university accepted around 500 to 700 students each year from 1996 to 2003 despite a hike in the number of candidates. In 2002 and 2003 the university received around 4000 to 4500 application while they approved around 650 students’ admission. To get admitted in this university a candidate had to compete with 5-7 other applicants in 2003.
The column graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a comparison data between the
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number
of
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applicants
and the
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number
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
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students
in a
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university
over a decade, commencing from 1993.
Overall
, the
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number
of
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applicants
to this
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university
remarkably
increased each
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year
despite a stable acceptance rate by the
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university
authority.

According to the illustration,
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around
250
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students
applied for
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admission
to that
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university
and almost 200 of them
were granted
.
Next
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year
,
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applicants
went up to approximately 800
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but
half of them
were rejected
. The
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number
of
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admission
seekers to this institute
steadily
surged and in 2000 more than 3 thousand pupils attempted for
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admission
.
However
, at this time
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only
600 of them
were granted
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admission
which means 80% applications
were rejected
in this
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year
. This
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university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
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around
500 to 700
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students
each
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year
from 1996 to 2003 despite a hike in the
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number
of candidates. In 2002 and 2003 the
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university
received
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around
4000 to 4500 application while they approved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
650
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students’
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admission
. To
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get
admitted in this
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university
a candidate had to compete with 5-7 other
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applicants
in 2003.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The graph below shows the comparison between the number of applicants and the number of students who were granted admission in a university. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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