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the chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of schools education. v.2

the chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of schools education. v. 2
The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of female students per 100 male students in primary, secondary and tertiary education. Overall, it is evident that more boy students than girl ones enrolled in primary education and secondary education, while in tertiary education girls in developed countries is the majority of students entering. Turning to the detail, in primary education and secondary education, the proportion of girls per 100 boys in developing countries is just under 90% smaller than in developed countries. Similar to developing countries, in developed countries the quantity of female students per 100 male ones in 1990 is not many as in 1998. Especially, in secondary education, in developing countries, the number of girls per 100 boys in 1990 is the lowest rate, with 72%. According to the bar chart, tertiary education in developing countries produces considerably less the quantity of the female students per male students than other levels of school education, with 66% in 1990. As opposed to tertiary education in developing countries, in developed countries tertiary education produces the largest proportion of girls per 100 boys, with 112 in 1998.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the proportion of female
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students
per 100 male
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students
in primary,
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secondary
and tertiary education.

Overall
, it is evident that more
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boy
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students
than
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girl
ones enrolled in primary
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education
and
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secondary
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education
, while in tertiary
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education
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girls
in
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developed
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countries
is the majority of
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students
entering.

Turning to the detail, in primary
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education
and
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secondary
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education
, the proportion of
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girls
per 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in
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developing
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countries
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 90% smaller than in
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developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Similar to
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developing
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countries
, in
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developed
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countries
the quantity of female
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students
per 100 male ones in 1990 is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as in 1998.
Especially
, in
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secondary
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education
, in
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the number of
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girls
per 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in 1990 is the lowest rate, with 72%.

According to the bar chart, tertiary
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education
in
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developing
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countries
produces
considerably
less the quantity of the female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
per male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than other levels of school
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education
, with 66% in 1990. As opposed to tertiary
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education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
produces the largest proportion of
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girls
per 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, with 112 in 1998.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic the chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of schools education. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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