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The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. v.3

The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. v. 3
The diagram outlines the population distribution of elephants in nine Asian countries in 1997 and 2004. Generally speaking, India had the highest number of elephants in both years while the total number of this species harshly declined during the period. As is presented, roughly 10000 elephants inhabited in India, the highest, which dropped to nearly 7500 in just seven years. Myanmar had the second largest number of elephants, over 5000, while China had only 1000 elephants in 1997. Their number in both countries declined and only 500 elephants were recorded in China in 2004. Malaysia and Sri Lanka had around 3000 elephants and in just 7 years, the number of elephant in the former country declined to as low as 1000. Vietnam and Laos had around a thousand elephants and the figure remained the same in Laos. The only place where elephant population grew was Cambodia where more than a thousand elephants dwelled. Finally, Thailand was the home to approximately 4 thousand elephants, which dropped to just over a thousand in merely 7 years.
The diagram outlines the population distribution of
elephants
in nine Asian countries in 1997 and 2004.
Generally
speaking, India had the highest
number
of
elephants
in both years while the total
number
of this species
harshly
declined during the period.

As
is presented
, roughly 10000
elephants
inhabited in India, the highest, which dropped to
nearly
7500 in
just
seven years. Myanmar had the second largest
number
of
elephants
, over 5000, while China had
only
1000
elephants
in 1997. Their
number
in both countries declined and
only
500
elephants
were recorded
in China in 2004.

Malaysia and Sri Lanka had around 3000
elephants
and in
just
7 years, the
number
of
elephant
in the former country declined to as low as 1000. Vietnam and Laos had around a thousand
elephants
and the figure remained the same in Laos. The
only
place where
elephant
population grew was Cambodia where more than a thousand
elephants
dwelled
.
Finally
, Thailand was the home to approximately 4 thousand
elephants
, which dropped to
just
over a thousand in
merely
7 years.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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