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The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. v.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. v. 5
The bar chart demonstrates the duration of phone calls in the United Kingdom divided into three different types, during an eight-year period, commencing from 1995. Looking at the details, domestic and overseas phone calls and mobile lines accounted an increase of telephone calls. Yet, the number of local calls showed a fluctuation. The quantity of national and international call during this time in the UK was about 36 billion minutes in 1995 and swelled gradually to about 36 billion minutes in 2002, approximately twice than that of 1995. Meanwhile, mobile call showed the same trend. The number of mobile phone calls went up significantly from only about 2 billion minutes in 1995 to about 45 billion minutes in 2002 and outlined a dramatic rise, in fact, almost 28 times higher than in 1995. In contrast, the number of local calls fluctuated over the times observed. It was about 71 billion in 1995 and rose modestly to about 90 billion minutes in 1998. The figure levelled off and began to go down in 2002 and kept on falling significantly until 2002 when the figure hit about 71 billion minutes. Nevertheless, the local fixed-line calls constituted the highest duration. The popularity of cell phone calls increased steadily over the period.
The bar chart demonstrates the duration of
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phone
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calls
in the United Kingdom divided into three
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different
types, during an eight-year period, commencing from 1995.

Looking at the
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details
, domestic and overseas
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phone
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calls
and mobile lines accounted an increase of telephone
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calls
.
Yet
, the number of local
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calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fluctuation.

The quantity of national and international
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call
during this time in the UK was about 36
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billion
minutes in 1995 and swelled
gradually
to about 36
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billion
minutes in 2002, approximately
Use "(twice)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
twice
than that of 1995. Meanwhile, mobile
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call
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the same trend. The number of mobile
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phone
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calls
went up
significantly
from
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only
about 2
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billion
minutes in 1995 to about 45
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billion
minutes in 2002 and outlined a dramatic rise, in fact, almost 28 times higher than in 1995.

In contrast
, the number of local
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calls
fluctuated over the times observed. It was about 71
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billion
in 1995 and rose
modestly
to about 90
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billion
minutes in 1998. The figure levelled off and began to go down in 2002 and
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kept
on falling
significantly
until 2002 when the figure hit about 71
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billion
minutes.
Nevertheless
, the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line
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calls
constituted the highest duration. The popularity of cell
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phone
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calls
increased
steadily
over the period.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. v. 5

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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