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The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. v.2

The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. v. 2
The bar graph provides information on the number of elephants in different countries between 1997 and 2004. Generally speaking, in India and Myanmar, the maximum number of elephants inhabited and the total number of elephants decreased over time. As is presented in the bar graph, approximately 10 thousand elephants lived in India in 1997 which was the highest among the given countries. Myanmar is the second largest country for elephants’ dwelling. Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and China had about 1000 elephants in 1997 while Malaysia, Sri Lanka and Thailand had roughly 3000 elephants. The least number of elephants were in China in 1997. After 7 years, in 2004, the number of elephants in all countries decreased except in Laos. The number of elephant in India fell to 7500 in 2004 while this number decreased to 4800 in Myanmar and only to 1200 in Thailand. Cambodia is the only country where the total number of elephants increased while the number reached to an alarming number of less than 500 in China. In summary, India, Myanmar and Thailand had the largest number of elephant among the given countries and except in Cambodia and Laos, elephants presence decreased only in 7 years which is alarming for the existence of this species.
The bar graph provides information on the
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number
of
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elephants
in
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different
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countries
between 1997 and 2004.
Generally
speaking, in India and Myanmar, the maximum
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number
of
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elephants
inhabited and the total
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number
of
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elephants
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decreased
over time.

As
is presented
in the bar graph, approximately 10 thousand
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elephants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in India in 1997 which was the highest among the
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given
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countries
. Myanmar is the second largest
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country
for
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elephants’
dwelling. Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and China had about 1000
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elephants
in 1997 while Malaysia, Sri Lanka and Thailand had roughly 3000
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elephants
. The least
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number
of
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elephants
were in China in 1997.

After 7 years, in 2004, the
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number
of
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elephants
in all
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countries
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decreased
except in Laos. The
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number
of
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elephant
in India fell to 7500 in 2004 while this
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number
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decreased
to 4800 in Myanmar and
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only
to 1200 in Thailand. Cambodia is the
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only
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country
where the total
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number
of
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elephants
increased while the
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number
reached to an alarming
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number
of less than 500 in China.

In summary, India, Myanmar and Thailand had the largest
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number
of
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elephant
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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countries
and except in Cambodia and Laos,
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elephants
presence
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decreased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in 7 years which is alarming for the existence of this species.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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