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the graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not. writing a report. v.2

the graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not. writing a report. v. 2
The bar chart highlights the information about the average annual gross domestic product growth in term of 3 types of countries: developed countries, developing countries adopting a global approach to business or globalizers and developing countries adopting a non-global approach to business or non-globalizers from the 1960s to the1990s. Overall, It can be observed that there was a gradual downward trend in the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries. And that of globalizers followed a contrasting trend. If we look at the average annual gross domestic product growth of wealthy countries, it started at just over 4. 5%, which meant that it was the highest percent among 3 types of countries. After that, the figure fell down steadily to nearly 3. 0% in the 1970s and continuously decreased by approximately 1. 0% in the 1990s. By contrast, the average domestic product growth of globalizers began at the lowest position compared with 2 remaining types of countries, at around 15% in the 1960s. But in the last three period of time, the figure increased significantly and reached a high of nearly 5. 0% in the 1990s. As regards non-globalizers, there was a slight increase in the two first periods of time, from nearly 2. 5% in the 1960s to just over 3. 0% in the 1970s. Following this the figure dropped considerably, making it slightly lower than the others, nearly 1. 0% in the 1980s and around 1. 5% in the 1990s.
The bar chart highlights the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annual gross
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domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in term of 3 types of
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countries
: developed
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countries
, developing
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countries
adopting a global approach to business or
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globalizers
and developing
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countries
adopting a non-global approach to business or
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non-globalizers
from the 1960s to the1990s.

Overall
, It can
be observed
that there was a gradual downward trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in wealthy
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countries
. And that of
Possible spelling mistake found.
globalizers
followed a contrasting trend.

If we look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annual gross
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 4. 5%, which meant that it was the highest percent among 3 types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. After that, the figure fell down
steadily
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
3. 0% in the 1970s and
continuously
decreased by approximately 1. 0% in the 1990s. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
globalizers
began at the lowest position compared with 2 remaining types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, at around 15% in the 1960s.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the last three period of time, the figure increased
significantly
and reached a high of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
5. 0% in the 1990s.

As regards
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non-globalizers
, there was a slight increase in the two
first
periods of time, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
2. 5% in the 1960s to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 3. 0% in the 1970s. Following this the figure dropped
considerably
, making it
slightly
lower than the others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
1. 0% in the 1980s and around 1. 5% in the 1990s.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not. writing a report. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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