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The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. v.5

The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. v. 5
The supplied tabular chart outlines the sleeping pattern of individuals of five different occupations. The spectacular feature of the chart is a regular period of the nap of students. At a fleeting glance, it is clearly observed that doctors take merely 5 hours of siesta in an entire day between 1. 00 am to 7. 00 am with an interval of one hour in between 3. 00-4. 00. However, Truck drivers take a nap on different hours of a day of approximately 5 hours according to their nature of job and driving schedule. In addition, full-time mothers show variations in the patterns of sleep and spend about one-third of a day in sleeping. It is interesting to note that students sleep 8 hours a day with an accurate consistency which starts at 11. 00 pm and culminating at 7. 00 am. Not just this, business executives prefer to sleep at same time but they wake up 2 hours before the students. All in all, the speaking patterns varies according to the occupation of dwellers while the full-time mothers sleep more hours and doctors take a nap of a fewer hours.
The supplied tabular chart outlines the sleeping pattern of individuals of five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occupations. The spectacular feature of the chart is a regular period of the nap of students.

At a fleeting glance, it is
clearly
observed that doctors take
merely
5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of siesta in an entire day between 1. 00 am to 7. 00 am with an interval of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
in between 3. 00-4. 00.
However
, Truck drivers take a nap on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of a day of approximately 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
according to their nature of job and driving schedule.
In addition
, full-time mothers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
variations in the patterns of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
and spend about one-third of a day in sleeping.

It is interesting to note that students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day with an accurate consistency which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at 11. 00 pm and culminating at 7. 00 am. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
this, business executives prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
at same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they wake up 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the students.

All in all, the speaking patterns varies according to the occupation of dwellers while the full-time mothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and doctors take a nap of a fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. v. 5

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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