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The table below show how many tourists from five countries visited Australia in different years from 2006 to 2010. v.2

The table below show how many tourists from five countries visited Australia in different years from 2006 to 2010. v. 2
The number of tourist from different nations in the world (New Zealand, Japan, Canada, China, Germany and France) between 2006 and 2010 is illustrated in the graph below. Overall, there was an increasing trend in the number of tourists visiting australia during the period and New Zealand’s visitor accounted as the highest figure during years. To begin with, the number from almost the countries experienced an increase and new zealand observed as the most significant rise among the countries. It stood at 979 in the beginning and finished the period at around 1011 in 2010. Following which china and france, the former stood at 267 in 2006 and ending the period at 360 visitors, while the latter commenced at 61 then accounted at almost 30% increase at the end of the reported year. In 2006, the number of germany tourist was 143 followed by Canada just below 100. Both countries saw a small rose in the number of visitor to australia and ending the period at 159 and 118 each. Although the number of japan' s tourist stood as the second-highest number in 2006, however, it decreased to about 30% in the final year.
The
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number
of
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tourist
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations in the world (New Zealand, Japan, Canada, China, Germany and France) between 2006 and 2010
is illustrated
in the graph below.

Overall
, there was an increasing trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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tourists
visiting
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australia
during the
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period
and New Zealand’s visitor accounted as the highest figure during years.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
from almost the countries experienced an increase and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new zealand
observed as the most significant rise among the countries. It stood at 979 in the beginning and finished the
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period
at around 1011 in 2010. Following which china and
Possible spelling mistake found.
france
, the former stood at 267 in 2006 and ending the
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period
at 360 visitors, while the latter commenced at 61 then accounted at almost 30% increase at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the reported year.

In 2006, the
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
germany
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tourist
was 143 followed by Canada
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 100. Both countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rose in the
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number
of visitor to
Possible spelling mistake found.
australia
and ending the
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period
at 159 and 118 each. Although the
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
japan&
#039; s
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tourist
stood as the second-highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 2006,
however
, it decreased to about 30% in the final year.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below show how many tourists from five countries visited Australia in different years from 2006 to 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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