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The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five-year period. v.1

The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five-year period. v. 1
The bar graph depicts the money exhausted on various modes of entertainment in the interval of five years. The spectacular feature of the chart is a drastic elevation in the expenditure on these activities. At a fleeting glance, it is understandably observed that in 1995, Asians spent $67 billion on such activities which broadly included Television and Publishing. However, Europeans paid an almost equal amount on the Television and Publishing while a little less on the Music. Not just this, the Americans were keenly interested in the Publishing whereas the cinema along with video was also renowned among them. Switching to the next time period, Asians developed the greater fascination for the television while others activities surged gradually. Moreover, Europeans soared their lay out by $34 billion by rocketing the attention in television and publishing and making consistency in others. Even besides, United States proliferated their attraction towards all activities. All-in-all, United States of America incremented their interest while Europeans maintained to such an extent.
The bar graph depicts the money exhausted on various modes of entertainment in the interval of five years. The spectacular feature of the chart is a drastic elevation in the expenditure on these activities.

At a fleeting glance, it is
understandably
observed that in 1995, Asians spent $67 billion on such activities which
broadly
included
Television
and
Publishing
.
However
, Europeans paid an almost equal amount on the
Television
and
Publishing
while a
little
less on the Music. Not
just
this, the Americans were
keenly
interested in the
Publishing
whereas the cinema along with video was
also
renowned among them.

Switching to the
next
time period, Asians developed the greater fascination for the
television
while others activities surged
gradually
.
Moreover
, Europeans soared their lay out by $34 billion by rocketing the attention in
television
and
publishing
and making consistency in others. Even
besides
, United States proliferated their attraction towards all activities.

All-in-all, United States of America incremented their interest while Europeans maintained to such an extent.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five-year period. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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