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The graph below shows CO<sub>2</sub> emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v.1

The graph below shows CO<sub>2</sub> emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 1
The bar chart summaries how much C02 is discharged for one-kilometre travel by a passenger in different transportations and the pie chart shows the ratio of European Union’s expenditure for a variety of transport systems. Generally speaking, air travel emits the highest amount of Carbon Dioxide and EU spend the most on the road carriers. As can be seen, one-kilometre air travel for a passenger is responsible for roughly 375 grams of CO2 emission which is significantly higher than that of other modes of travel. A car passenger contributes to approximately 130 grams CO2 while this is nearly 70 grams for a bus commuter. Coaches, rails and maritime produces almost 50 grams of CO2 for one-kilometre passenger travel. According to the pie chart, more than half of the EU budget is spent on road transport system which is the highest. Nearly one-third of the budget is allocated for the rail transports while one-tenth goes on public transports. Despite emitting the highest CO2 per traveller, air transports receive only 1% of the EU’s budget. All other transport systems receive 1-2% of the EU budget each which is relatively much lower the spending on roads and railways.
The bar chart summaries how much C02
is discharged
for
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one-kilometre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transportations and the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the ratio of European Union’s expenditure for a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
systems.
Generally
speaking, air
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travel
emits the highest amount of Carbon Dioxide and EU spend the most on the road carriers.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
one-kilometre
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
is responsible for roughly 375
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grams
of CO2 emission which is
significantly
higher than that of other modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. A car
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passenger
contributes to approximately 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
CO2 while this is
nearly
70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
for a bus commuter. Coaches, rails and maritime produces almost 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
of CO2 for
Possible spelling mistake found.
one-kilometre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
travel.

According to the pie chart, more than half of the EU
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
is spent
on road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system which is the highest.
Nearly
one-third of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
is allocated
for the rail
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transports
while one-tenth goes on public
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transports
. Despite emitting the highest CO2 per
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traveller
, air
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transports
receive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of the EU’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
. All other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
systems receive 1-2% of the EU
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
each which is
relatively
much lower the spending on roads and railways.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows CO<sub>2</sub> emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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