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The graph below shows CO<sub>2</sub> emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v.4

The graph below shows CO<sub>2</sub> emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 4
The column graph shows the amount of CO2 release from different means of transports in the European Union and the pie chart outlines how the European Union distributes its budget on different transportation types. In general, air transports emit the highest volume of C02, and vehicles on roads and railways together consume most of the European Union's expenditure budget on transports. To begin with, nearly 400 grams of CO2 ejection happens when a passenger travels a kilometre in an aeroplane. Following that, personal cars stand at the second position with a remarkably lower figure of CO2 emision - approximately 130 grams per passenger kilometre. Buses are responsible for 70 grams of emission while this figure is 40 grams for coaches, which is the lowest. Finally, the Maritimes and rails are reported to have the same volume of CO2 discharge, 50 grams for a kilometre travel by a passenger. As can be seen from the pie chart, more than half of the transport related expenditure by the EU goes to road transports. Nearly one-third of their total budget is spent on railways and a tenth is used for bus communications. The remaining 7% budget is then spent on other transportation types.
The column graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the amount of CO2 release from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
means of
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transports
in the European Union and the pie chart outlines how the European Union distributes its
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budget
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transportation types.
In general
, air
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transports
emit the highest volume of C02, and vehicles on roads and railways together consume most of the European Union's expenditure
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budget
on transports.

To
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begin
with,
nearly
400
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grams
of CO2 ejection happens when a passenger travels a
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
. Following that, personal cars stand at the second position with a
remarkably
lower figure of CO2
Possible spelling mistake found.
emision
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
approximately 130
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grams
per passenger
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
. Buses are responsible for 70
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grams
of emission while this figure is 40
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grams
for coaches, which is the lowest.
Finally
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maritimes
and rails
are reported
to have the same volume of CO2 discharge, 50
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grams
for a
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
travel by a passenger.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the pie chart, more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
related expenditure by the EU goes to road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
.
Nearly
one-third of their total
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budget
is spent
on railways and a tenth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for bus communications. The remaining 7%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
is then spent on other transportation types.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows CO<sub>2</sub> emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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