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The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. v.6

The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. v. 6
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of the money spent by an average family on having meals in a restaurant on four selected years whereas the line graph depicts how many meals they have eaten in two types of restaurant. Overall, it is clear that there was an increasing trend in the money spent on having meals in restaurants throughout the years and fast food restaurant was favoured by people than in a restaurant. First of all, the proportion of money spent on eating in restaurant increased from 1970 to 2000. In 1970, there was only 10% of their food budget spent on eating in restaurants whereas, in 2000, it rose to 50%. Turning to the preference of people of choosing restaurants, there was an equal number of people having meals in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants (about 20 meals per year) in 1970. An overall rising pattern can be seen for both the restaurants, however, the fast food restaurant went up slowly from the year 1970 to 1980 before it continued to rise steadily and reached its peak in 2000 at just under 90 meals per year, which was almost doubled that of sitdown restaurant in the same year. Interestingly, sitdown restaurants showed a rapid increase in the number of meals per year which reached a higher point than fast food restaurant from 1970 to 1980 but it slowed down after 1980.
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of the money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by an average family on having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
on four selected years whereas the line graph depicts how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
they have eaten in two types of restaurant.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was an increasing trend in the money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
throughout the years and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
was
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than in a restaurant.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the proportion of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on eating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
increased from 1970 to 2000. In 1970, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of their
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food
budget
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spent
on eating in
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restaurants
whereas, in 2000, it rose to 50%. Turning to the preference of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of choosing
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restaurants
, there was an equal number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
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restaurants
and sit-down
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restaurants
(about 20
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meals
per
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year)
in 1970. An
overall
rising pattern can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
,
however
, the
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fast
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food
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restaurant
went up
slowly
from the
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year
1970 to 1980
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it continued to rise
steadily
and reached its peak in 2000 at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, which was almost doubled that of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sitdown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Interestingly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sitdown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rapid increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which reached a higher point than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
from 1970 to 1980
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it slowed down after 1980.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. v. 6

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
234 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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