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5. The methods used by international students when booking the online English courses in three different countries v.1

5. The methods used by international students when booking the online English courses in three different countries v. 1
The pie charts illustrate the information about the ways employed by international students when buying the online English courses in three countries between 2009 and 2010. Overall, the proportion of students in all countries booking online English courses through the Internet witnessed an upward trend. However, the percentage of students who pre-booked their courses through agents increased in Canada and the USA but decreased in Australia. In 2009, 24 percent of students in Australia booked these courses via the Internet, compared with 25 percent and 27 percent in the USA and Canada respectively. This percentage increased in 2010, at 39 percent, 28 percent and 30 percent in Australia, the USA, and Canada respectively. In 2009, the percentage of students booked English courses via arrival was highest in Canada and Australia, at 30 percent. It was 24 percent in the USA. In 2010, it noticed growth in Australia, at 35 percent. Meanwhile, the USA saw unchanged and Canada increased, at 24 percent and 15 percent respectively. The percentage of students who pre-booked with agents in Australia and Canada were the same, at 26 percent. It was lower than the USA, at 23 percent in 2009. In 2010, this percentage decreased in Australia, at 17 percent. However, the USA and Canada witnessed an upward trend, at 26 percent and 35 percent respectively. The percentage of students booked English courses via other was down in Australia and the USA over the period of time, from 20 percent to 13 percent and from 28 percent to 22 percent respectively. While, this percentage was up in Canada, from 7 percent to 20 percent in 2009 and 2010 respectively.
The pie charts illustrate the information about the ways employed by international
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students
when buying the online English
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courses
in three countries between 2009 and 2010.
Overall
, the proportion of
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students
in all countries booking online English
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courses
through the Internet witnessed an upward trend.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
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students
who pre-booked their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
through agents increased in Canada and the USA
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
decreased in Australia.

In 2009, 24
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percent
of
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students
in Australia booked these
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courses
via the Internet, compared with 25
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percent
and 27
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percent
in the USA and Canada
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respectively
. This
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percentage
increased in 2010, at 39
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percent
, 28
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percent
and 30
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percent
in Australia, the USA, and Canada
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respectively
. In 2009, the
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percentage
of
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students
booked English
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courses
via arrival was highest in Canada and Australia, at 30
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percent
. It was 24
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percent
in the USA. In 2010, it noticed growth in Australia, at 35
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percent
. Meanwhile, the USA
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saw
unchanged and Canada increased, at 24
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percent
and 15
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percent
respectively
.

The
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percentage
of
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students
who pre-booked with agents in Australia and Canada were the same, at 26
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percent
. It was lower than the USA, at 23
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percent
in 2009. In 2010, this
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percentage
decreased in Australia, at 17
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percent
.
However
, the USA and Canada witnessed an upward trend, at 26
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percent
and 35
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percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. The
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
booked English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
via other was down in Australia and the USA over the period of time, from 20
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percent
to 13
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percent
and from 28
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percent
to 22
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percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. While, this
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percentage
was up in Canada, from 7
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percent
to 20
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percent
in 2009 and 2010
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respectively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS academic 5. The methods used by international students when booking the online English courses in three different countries v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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