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The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed. v.1

The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed. v. 1
The pie chart gives data on the most important aspects that candidates have learned from their internship, according to a survey which considered 4000 candidates opinion. Generally speaking, practical knowledge, skill development, understanding industry, work environment and planning for the future career are the most important perspectives those candidates have learned. Getting back to details, 15% candidates expressed their opinion that the most significant lesson they have learned from their internship experience was practical knowledge while 7% thought real work experience was the most necessary lesson for them. The second highest ratio of these candidates opined that they have developed their communication skills and this was the best knowledge they have gained from the internship. One out of ten thought that understanding industry was the most beneficial thing they learned. Moreover, time management, work operation and planning for future career each was picked by 7% internship students as their most valuable knowledge from their internship activity. Comparative a small ratio of those candidates picked teamwork and work environment, 3% and 4% respectively, to be their greatest lesson. Just over one fourth of those four thousand survey participants expressed other aspects that they learned to be most important.
The pie chart gives data on the most
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important
aspects that
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candidates
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
from their internship, according to a survey which considered 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
opinion.
Generally
speaking, practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development, understanding industry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment and planning for the future career are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
perspectives those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
have learned.

Getting back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, 15%
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candidates
expressed their opinion that the most significant lesson they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
from their internship experience was practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
while 7%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience was the most necessary lesson for them. The second highest ratio of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
opined that they have developed their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and this was the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
they have gained from the internship. One out of ten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that understanding industry was the most beneficial thing they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
.
Moreover
, time management,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
operation and planning for future career each
was picked
by 7% internship students as their most valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from their internship activity. Comparative a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
ratio of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
picked teamwork and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment, 3% and 4%
respectively
, to be their greatest lesson.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
over one fourth of those four thousand survey participants expressed other aspects that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
to be most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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