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The graph below and the chart show the answers people gave about the extent to which they are satisfied with their lives and what they think would make them happiest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compari v.2

The graph below and the chart show the answers people gave about the extent to which they are satisfied with their lives and what they think would make them happiest.
The line graph depicts how people in general are satisfied about their lives, illustrating differences between ages. The bar chart gives information about what would make people happiest, focusing on health and money. It is clear from the first graph that the trends of men and women are very similar, infact there is just a slight difference in the 15-20 age group when men are more satisfied about their life then women with a score of 5. 5 and 5. 3 respectively. After this period, the trends tend to decrease gradually reaching the lowest score of 5. 0 for both aged 41-50. Then they start to rise significantly to a peak of 5. 6 in the 61-79 age group. In the bar chart, there are the percentages of what make people happiest over their existence. During the adolescence, as you can see 55% of people are happier because of the money against almost 12% of those who prefer health. Over the years, these percentages change and cross in the middle age when there is an increase to 41% for those who say that health would make them happiest and a gradually decrease to 22% for people who prefer money. Then the trends continue to follow this line, reaching almost 45% and less than 10% for health and money respectively at the age of 75. Overall, it seems that people are more satisfied of their lives when they are younger and when they get older. Besides, the youngests' happiness is linked to money, whereas for older people it comes from health.
The line graph depicts how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in general
are satisfied
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, illustrating differences between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. The bar chart gives information about what would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happiest, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and money.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
first
graph that the trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar,
Possible spelling mistake found.
infact
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a slight difference in the 15-20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are more satisfied about their life
Did you mean "than"?
then
women with a score of 5. 5 and 5. 3
respectively
. After this period, the trends tend to decrease
gradually
reaching the lowest score of 5. 0 for both aged 41-50. Then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to rise
significantly
to a peak of 5. 6 in the 61-79
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

In the bar chart, there are the percentages of what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A determiner is probably missing here: "the happiest".
happiest
over their existence. During the adolescence, as you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
55% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
against almost 12% of those who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Over the years, these percentages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and cross in the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when there is an increase to 41% for those who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happiest and a
You used an adverb ('gradually') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decrease') instead of another adjective.
gradually decrease
to 22% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Then the trends continue to follow this line, reaching almost 45% and less than 10% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
respectively
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 75.

Overall
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more satisfied of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
when they are younger and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older.
Besides
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngests&
#039; happiness
is linked
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, whereas for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS academic The graph below and the chart show the answers people gave about the extent to which they are satisfied with their lives and what they think would make them happiest.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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