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The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land become less productive. The table show how these cause affected three regions of the world during 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparis v.2

The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land become less productive. The table show how these cause affected three regions of the world during 1990s.
The pie chart and table describe the reasons of destruction of farming land in three different areas in 1990s. Averagely over grazing has been known as a main cause of drop in productivity of agricultural land. Over-grazing, over-cultivation- deforestation and other is introduced as a most important devastating parameters which decrease the beneficial of agriculture. First of all, Europe region suffer again 23% total land degraded, on the other hand, just 5% of agricultural land degraded in north America. Deforestation was the most significant cause of agricultural land demolishment in Europe by 9. 8% and over-grazing by 11. 3% introduced as a main reason in Oceania, while, Over-cultivation but had not any effect on agriculture productivity there. In North America over cultivation and deforestation had the most and the least effect respectively. Totally, apart from over-grazing, Europe had the most percentage of degradation by introduced variable, in comparing with other two areas.
The pie chart and table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the reasons of destruction of farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990s".
in 1990s
.
Averagely
over grazing has
been known
as a main cause of drop in productivity of agricultural land.

Over-grazing, over-cultivation- deforestation and other
is introduced
as a most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
devastating parameters which decrease
The phrase 'the beneficial of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the beneficial of
agriculture.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Europe region suffer again 23% total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
degraded,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% of agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
degraded in
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "North America"
north America
. Deforestation was the most significant cause of agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
Possible spelling mistake found.
demolishment
in Europe by 9. 8% and over-grazing by 11. 3% introduced as a main reason in Oceania, while, Over-cultivation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had not any effect on agriculture productivity there. In North America over cultivation and deforestation had the most and the least effect
respectively
.
Totally
, apart from over-grazing, Europe had the most percentage of degradation by introduced variable, in comparing with other two areas.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS academic The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land become less productive. The table show how these cause affected three regions of the world during 1990s.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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