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the charts below show the results of a survey about adults education. the first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. the pie chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared? v.2

the charts below show the results of a survey about adults education. the first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. the pie chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared? v. 2
The given charts describe the results of a survey which summarized information about the purposes caused adult people to study and how tuition costs should be shared. It can be seen that “interest in subject” is the main reason why the adults decided to go back to school. Additionally, the survey also shows that the most of tuition should be paid by individual. In term of the bar chart, the percentage of people, who continue their education because of interest in subject, made up 40%, following closely by the purpose to gain qualifications at 38%. The other aims including helpful for current job, to improve prospects of promotion and enjoy studying constituted relatively similar proportion around 20%. Meanwhile, there are a few people adults who went to school on order to able to change job or to meet people, at 12% and 9% respectively. Turning to the cost sharing, most of people have opinion that the majority of fees education should be paid by individual, 40%, while 35% of these fees should be helped by employers. On the other hand, taxpayer should contribute 25% of these fees to adult education.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the results of a survey which summarized information about the purposes caused adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to study and how tuition costs should
be shared
.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that “interest in subject” is the main reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
decided to go back to school.
Additionally
, the survey
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
Consider using "most tuition" or "most of the tuition".
most of tuition
should
be paid
by individual.

In term of the bar chart, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who continue their education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of interest in subject, made up 40%, following
closely
by the purpose to gain qualifications at 38%. The other aims including helpful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
prospects of promotion and enjoy studying constituted
relatively
similar proportion around 20%. Meanwhile, there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who went to school on order
Did you mean "to be able"?
to able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
job or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, at 12% and 9%
respectively
.

Turning to the cost sharing, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have opinion that the majority of fees education should
be paid
by individual, 40%, while 35% of these fees should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by employers.
On the other hand
, taxpayer should contribute 25% of these fees to adult education.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic the charts below show the results of a survey about adults education. the first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. the pie chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared? v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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