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The graph and the pie chart below give information on in-house training courses in a large financial company. v.1

The graph and the pie chart below give information on in-house training courses in a large financial company. v. 1
The pie chart shows the yearly duration of four different in-house professional training sessions in a large company while the bar graph outlines what managers and secretaries think about it. Overall, the duration of technical training is higher than other types of training and most of the managers and secretaries of this company opine that these training sessions are important for their job. According to the illustration, the yearly duration of technical training is 30 hours which is exactly double and treble than that of career and interpersonal skills development training. Health and safety related sessions have the least duration, 5 hours per year to be precise. The bar graph reveals that more than 80% secretaries and roughly 77% managers find these training sessions helpful for their jobs. One out of ten employees does not take it positively as they think it kills their time. Half of the managers and over 40% secretaries consider the training as an opportunity to expanding their network. Finally, more than 6 out of ten also feel that these training sessions bring good excuses for a change.
The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the yearly
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duration
of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sessions
in a large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
while the bar graph outlines what
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managers
and
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secretaries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duration
of technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is higher than other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secretaries
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
opine that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sessions
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their job.

According to the illustration, the yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duration
of technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is 30 hours which is exactly double and
Use "(treble)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
treble
than that of career and interpersonal
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. Health and safety related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sessions
have the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duration
, 5 hours per year to be precise.

The bar graph reveals that more than 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secretaries
and roughly 77%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
find these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sessions
helpful for their jobs. One out of ten employees does not take it
positively
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it kills their time. Half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
and over 40%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secretaries
consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as an opportunity to expanding their network.
Finally
, more than 6 out of ten
also
feel that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sessions
bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
excuses for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph and the pie chart below give information on in-house training courses in a large financial company. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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